I came across this really cute site that all women would appreciate. It's called My Chic Things and they offer all Fine Things. All Chic Things. My Chic Things. It is with pleasure that they offer chic girly items and unique gifts. Featuring Voda products, Velluca scarves, Abeille elegant papers, Joluka denim jackets, Myra Elizabeth Jewelry, Denise Tjarks handbags, Orion Botanica products, Flower Peddler products and much more. You should stop by and check it out, for all your girly pleasures.


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Penis's Demands



The Penis requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:

- has to work hard;
- has to work at great depths
- has to work upside down
- has no ventilation or air-conditioned environment at work
- has to work in a high humidity environment
- has to work at high temperatures
- does not get weekends and holidays off
- does not get time off after extra hours of work
- has a hazardous work environment that often causes illness.

Request denied for the following reasons:

- does not work 8 hours in a row
- does not answer immediately to all requests
- after a short activity period, falls asleep at work
- shows no fidelity to the workplace
- retires too early
- does not work at all unless pushed from behind
- does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work
- sometimes leaves work too early.




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How to shower like a woman:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloured.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

3. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

4. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.

5. Get in shower.

6. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

7. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

8. Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.

9. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.

10. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.

11. Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash.

12. Shave armpits and legs.

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower.

16. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

17. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

18. Check entire body for spots, tweeze hairs.

19. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

20. If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.

How to shower like a man:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.

2. Leave in a pile.

3. Walk naked to the bathroom.

4. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making woo-hoo sound.

5. Look at manly physique in the mirror.

6. Admire size of your willy and scratch your ass.

7. Get in the shower.

8. Wash your face.

9. Wash your armpits.

10. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

11. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

12. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

13. Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.

14. Shampoo hair.

15. Make shampoo mohawk.

16. Pee.

17. Rinse off and get out of shower.

18. Partially dry-off.

19. Fail to notice water on floor.

20. Admire willy size in mirror again.

21. Leave shower door open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

22. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

23. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make woo-hoo noise again.

24. Throw wet towel on bed.

Ziploc Bags: They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers: They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective productive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

Tire: Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.

Hot Air Balloon: Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.

Sponges: Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.

Web Page: Female, because it’s always getting hit on

Subway: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

Hourglass: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

Hammer: Male, because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

Remote Control: Female. You thought it’d be male but consider this; it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.


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